As most social media users know, today is Bell Canada's "Let's Talk" day. This day is designed to raise awareness about mental illness and get rid of the stigma that surrounds mental illness all over the world. Around 43 million Americans suffer from some kind of mental illness, with even more getting diagnosed each and every day. No matter what the illness is, it is important that we don't continue to create a stigma around it and treat people that live with mental illness as if they are just crazy, or sad, or nervous.
I have struggled with both Attention Deficit Disorder and generalized anxiety disorder since middle school. My first and only struggle with a bout of true depression began last October and ended at the beginning of December. My anxiety set in soon after the loss of my best friend in fifth grade, when I began to realize that every day is not promised to us and you can lose everything in the blink of an eye. My best friend was my rock and getting to see her smiling face at school every day was what motivated me to show up. In sixth and seventh grade especially, I struggled with a lot of anxiety that led to me skipping school and pretending to be sick so that I didn't have to attend. Of course, this only made things worse for me, because I got behind and the work piled up, leading to even more anxiety. Over the years, I have been to see therapists and guidance counselors and other professionals to talk about my anxiety. But the thing that has helped me most is talking to friends and family who know exactly what I'm going through or are very understanding. For those of you who are lucky enough to not have to deal with a mental illness on a daily basis, here are some tips for helping your friends who do.
1. Don't dismiss or discredit their feelings. They know exactly how they are feeling much better than you do. Bouts of depression are not just "sad feelings that everybody gets". Feelings of anxiety are NOT the same as the nervous feelings you get before a big game or a performance. Understand that depression is not sadness, anxiety is not nervousness, etc.
2. Be supportive of their decisions. If your friend has social anxiety and doesn't want to go out and party with you, don't tell them they are a party-pooper. Let them know that you completely understand their decision to stay in, and to shoot you a text if they need anything or change their mind. Guilting them about their decision to stay in and be comfortable will only make them feel worse.
3. Make your friend or family member aware that they can always talk to you about anything that may be bothering them or stressing them out. Let them know that you are available to them for whatever they may need, and make them aware that their mental health is important to you. Knowing that they are not alone and always have an open line of communication can go a long way.
4. Listen to what they have to say. Don't dismiss any concerns that they have, but don't try to give advice unless you have experienced something similar firsthand. It can be really annoying if someone who has never felt the same kind of feelings tries to tell you how to feel better or tells you to suck it up. Even just providing your time and lending an ear to what they have to say can make them feel better, because they are getting their feelings off their chest.
5. Ask them if you can do anything to help them. Even if they say no, at least they are aware that you are willing to provide help to them.
6. If you feel completely lost when listening to a friend talk about their struggles with a mental health disorder, educate yourself about whatever mental health disorder they may be dealing with. Knowing that you care enough to try and understand what their mental illness is like will make them feel that you truly care, and it will be easier to understand what they are talking about when they vent to you about their feelings.
7. Make sure you don't let their feelings and struggles get in the way of your own life. It can be hard to deal with other people's emotions along with your own, but when you find a balance, both of your lives will be better. Be supportive but don't let their emotions become your own.
8. Does your friend feel that they are getting the help they need? Many college campuses have counseling centers, otherwise, they can see another therapist or counselor. Offer to go with them if they feel they need to talk to someone else.
And to those of you who struggle with mental illnesses, know this: You are truly not alone. There are so many of us out here who keep it to ourselves instead of starting the conversation. It's time to end the stigma, because with 20% of Americans dealing with some form of mental illness, it's almost normal. It wasn't easy for me to be so open about my own struggles with mental illnesses until I realized how much it helped people to know that they were not the only ones who dealt with such feelings. I hope this post helps at least one person to realize that there is always someone you can talk to, whether it's a family member, a friend, a counselor, or even me.
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Remember this next time you feel as though you can't get out of bed and face the day. Take everything one step at a time, and focus on the now instead of the later.
Just taking the time to talk about mental illness can make a world of a difference for those of us who can feel so alone in our struggles with it. So, #LetsTalk.
-Em
I have struggled with both Attention Deficit Disorder and generalized anxiety disorder since middle school. My first and only struggle with a bout of true depression began last October and ended at the beginning of December. My anxiety set in soon after the loss of my best friend in fifth grade, when I began to realize that every day is not promised to us and you can lose everything in the blink of an eye. My best friend was my rock and getting to see her smiling face at school every day was what motivated me to show up. In sixth and seventh grade especially, I struggled with a lot of anxiety that led to me skipping school and pretending to be sick so that I didn't have to attend. Of course, this only made things worse for me, because I got behind and the work piled up, leading to even more anxiety. Over the years, I have been to see therapists and guidance counselors and other professionals to talk about my anxiety. But the thing that has helped me most is talking to friends and family who know exactly what I'm going through or are very understanding. For those of you who are lucky enough to not have to deal with a mental illness on a daily basis, here are some tips for helping your friends who do.
1. Don't dismiss or discredit their feelings. They know exactly how they are feeling much better than you do. Bouts of depression are not just "sad feelings that everybody gets". Feelings of anxiety are NOT the same as the nervous feelings you get before a big game or a performance. Understand that depression is not sadness, anxiety is not nervousness, etc.
2. Be supportive of their decisions. If your friend has social anxiety and doesn't want to go out and party with you, don't tell them they are a party-pooper. Let them know that you completely understand their decision to stay in, and to shoot you a text if they need anything or change their mind. Guilting them about their decision to stay in and be comfortable will only make them feel worse.
3. Make your friend or family member aware that they can always talk to you about anything that may be bothering them or stressing them out. Let them know that you are available to them for whatever they may need, and make them aware that their mental health is important to you. Knowing that they are not alone and always have an open line of communication can go a long way.
4. Listen to what they have to say. Don't dismiss any concerns that they have, but don't try to give advice unless you have experienced something similar firsthand. It can be really annoying if someone who has never felt the same kind of feelings tries to tell you how to feel better or tells you to suck it up. Even just providing your time and lending an ear to what they have to say can make them feel better, because they are getting their feelings off their chest.
5. Ask them if you can do anything to help them. Even if they say no, at least they are aware that you are willing to provide help to them.
6. If you feel completely lost when listening to a friend talk about their struggles with a mental health disorder, educate yourself about whatever mental health disorder they may be dealing with. Knowing that you care enough to try and understand what their mental illness is like will make them feel that you truly care, and it will be easier to understand what they are talking about when they vent to you about their feelings.
7. Make sure you don't let their feelings and struggles get in the way of your own life. It can be hard to deal with other people's emotions along with your own, but when you find a balance, both of your lives will be better. Be supportive but don't let their emotions become your own.
8. Does your friend feel that they are getting the help they need? Many college campuses have counseling centers, otherwise, they can see another therapist or counselor. Offer to go with them if they feel they need to talk to someone else.
And to those of you who struggle with mental illnesses, know this: You are truly not alone. There are so many of us out here who keep it to ourselves instead of starting the conversation. It's time to end the stigma, because with 20% of Americans dealing with some form of mental illness, it's almost normal. It wasn't easy for me to be so open about my own struggles with mental illnesses until I realized how much it helped people to know that they were not the only ones who dealt with such feelings. I hope this post helps at least one person to realize that there is always someone you can talk to, whether it's a family member, a friend, a counselor, or even me.
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Remember this next time you feel as though you can't get out of bed and face the day. Take everything one step at a time, and focus on the now instead of the later.
Just taking the time to talk about mental illness can make a world of a difference for those of us who can feel so alone in our struggles with it. So, #LetsTalk.
-Em
Comments
Post a Comment